Because we could probably all use a break from market meltdown Monday.
“Do I look cool or what?”
“Fear me, hooman. I will eat your face if you approach my babies.”
“Check out my camo. Super fresh and no way am I going to get eaten by a hawk today.”
“Do I smell hooman food?”
“Indeed… hints of maple brown sugar quaker oats. Chance of apple cinnamon. This could be the start of a very special day.”
“Commence operation ‘Oatmeal Liberation.'”
“Can I join you for breakfast?”
“These boots…might I have a nibble?”
“If I engage stealth mode, their puny hooman senses will surely lose me. The oats will be mine!”
“I just – came to say hello.”
“I don’t even like oatmeal.”
“If you can say no to this face, I’ll go.”
“I figured as much.”
“Skin and bones dude. You think I can fatten up on gooseberries? This ain’t no bear necessities. It’s your duty as a conservationist to slice me up some of that Vermont aged cheddar.”
“Dude, I’ve been hibernating a long time. Can you just hook it up already?”
“This hot rock is literally the most fun I will ever have.”
“I mean, look at me. I’m eating a pine tree. Give me a salami slice at the very least.”
“I see you. Will you see me before I escape with your tortillas?”
“See, son, this is how you lounge on a hot rock. It’s a learned skill, but you’ll get it. Be sure to mean-mug any hoomans who pass by, too.”
“OK, I admit it. I ate a Cub Scout. Winter was coming, and I was desparate. That’s no excuse not to share your cliff bars, bro.”
“Leave no trace? The Dude does not abide your lack of scraps, nor your hippy dippy nonsense. Goodbye, hooman. I hope you come to an untimely end at the hands of a grumpy bear.”
Nick's Adventures 